Kings Ransom Movie Review Black Los Angeles

BlackNLA Movie Reviews

*****THE REEL DEAL: Reviewz from the Street*****

by Edwardo Jackson

BIASES: late 20s black male; frustrated screenwriter who favors action, comedy, and glossy, big budget movies over indie flicks, kiddie flicks, and weepy Merchant Ivory fare

KING'S RANSOM (PG-13)

MOVIE BIASES: Trailer looks promising, the PR doesn't.

MAJOR PLAYERS: Anthony Anderson (My Baby's Momma), Jay Mohr (Jerry
Maguire), Regina Hall (The Best Man), and director Jeff Byrd

Malcolm King (Anderson) is a jackass. Living a gold-plated life off his "one dollar to fifteen million" fame, this self-made businessman on the verge of his nebulously community-oriented company being bought out for $25 million is also undergoing a messy divorce. With a scheming, cheating, she-put-the-'igger-in-golddigger wife like Renee (Kellita Smith) aiming for more than her fair share of his fortune, King comes up with an cockeyed plan to get himself kidnapped in order to avoid paying a divorce settlement (don't ask). But when you're as big (literally) a jackass as Malcolm King is, imagine what happens when others kidnap your own kidnapping plot?

Well, it sure ain't "hilarity ensuing." Creatively executed, bizarrely scripted, and acted as if on the deck of the Titanic (there's a whole lot of wild, hand gesticulating here), "King's Ransom" is a lot of sound and fury signifying nothing dressed up as something. Whereas the costume design is sharp and attentive, reminiscent of a clean, fabulously dressed "Boomerang" world, the soundtrack is forgettably generic. Featuring a haphazard opening, "Ransom" is saddled with a ridiculous script that's as focused as a cross-eyed seeing eye dog. Characters are merely repositories for weird, over-the-top, slapsticky quirks, such as Leila Arcieri as a breast-baring, tatted Jesus freak, Roger Cross as a stuttering poolboy, and… Charlie Murphy.
Actually, I'll spare Charlie "Nighty-night, Malcolm Kaaang" Murphy and Donald Faison my wet-noodle lashing, as they seem to be making the best of a bad situation. But nothing can overcome broadly written comedic concepts posing as characters.

The leads cannot escape either. Anderson founders in his first bona fide movie lead. His character is such a gonad that not only is he unredeemable but also, worst of all, NOT FUNNY. Bernie Mac should have tutored that boy on how to play comedically grumpy. Jay Mohr as a white trash, bullied, fast food mascot/would-be kidnapper has his moments, but he's the LA Clippers: he'll play up to the level of his
competition or down to it – and may fail either way. Even the forever vivacious Kellita Smith's (hummina-hummina) overacting is so fargone that she'd have to underact for three straight seasons on "Bernie Mac" just to find her way back to Earth.

The only escaped convict from this Alcatraz of a movie is Regina Hall as Malcolm's talentless, witless, acrobatic, and very pink mistress Peaches. Fully committing to her surface-to-airhead missile of misunderstanding, a real-life Betty Boop with voice to match, Hall is the best thing about this movie. Now if someone wants to kidnap
Peaches and torture her by making her read encyclopedias for ninety minutes, then that would be a movie worth seeing. Otherwise, "nighty-night…"

@ REEL
(ONE REEL)
If you can't sneak in, don't go in.

Like what you read? Agree/disagree with The Reel Deal? Think he's talkin' out his...HUSH YO' MOUF! (I'm only talkin' about The Reel Deal!) Email him at ReelReviewz@aol.com!

Edwardo Jackson is the author of the novels EVER AFTER and NEVA HAFTA, (Villard/Random House), a writer for UrbanFilmPremiere.com, and an LA-based screenwriter. Visit his website at www.edwardojackson.com




			BlackNLA Movie Reviews ***THE REEL DEAL: Reviewz from the Street*** by Edwardo Jackson BIASES: late 20s black male; frustrated screenwriter who favors action, comedy, and glossy, big budget movies over indie flicks, kiddie flicks, and weepy Merchant Ivory fare KING'S RANSOM (PG-13) MOVIE BIASES: Trailer looks promising, the PR doesn't. MAJOR PLAYERS: Anthony Anderson (My Baby's Momma), Jay Mohr (Jerry Maguire), Regina Hall (The Best Man), and director Jeff Byrd Malcolm King (Anderson) is a jackass. Living a gold-plated life off his "one dollar to fifteen million" fame, this self-made businessman on the verge of his nebulously community-oriented company being bought out for $25 million is also undergoing a messy divorce. With a scheming, cheating, she-put-the-'igger-in-golddigger wife like Renee (Kellita Smith) aiming for more than her fair share of his fortune, King comes up with an cockeyed plan to get himself kidnapped in order to avoid paying a divorce settlement (don't ask). But when you're as big (literally) a jackass as Malcolm King is, imagine what happens when others kidnap your own kidnapping plot? Well, it sure ain't "hilarity ensuing." Creatively executed, bizarrely scripted, and acted as if on the deck of the Titanic (there's a whole lot of wild, hand gesticulating here), "King's Ransom" is a lot of sound and fury signifying nothing dressed up as something. Whereas the costume design is sharp and attentive, reminiscent of a clean, fabulously dressed "Boomerang" world, the soundtrack is forgettably generic. Featuring a haphazard opening, "Ransom" is saddled with a ridiculous script that's as focused as a cross-eyed seeing eye dog. Characters are merely repositories for weird, over-the-top, slapsticky quirks, such as Leila Arcieri as a breast-baring, tatted Jesus freak, Roger Cross as a stuttering poolboy, and… Charlie Murphy. Actually, I'll spare Charlie "Nighty-night, Malcolm Kaaang" Murphy and Donald Faison my wet-noodle lashing, as they seem to be making the best of a bad situation. But nothing can overcome broadly written comedic concepts posing as characters. The leads cannot escape either. Anderson founders in his first bona fide movie lead. His character is such a gonad that not only is he unredeemable but also, worst of all, NOT FUNNY. Bernie Mac should have tutored that boy on how to play comedically grumpy. Jay Mohr as a white trash, bullied, fast food mascot/would-be kidnapper has his moments, but he's the LA Clippers: he'll play up to the level of his competition or down to it – and may fail either way. Even the forever vivacious Kellita Smith's (hummina-hummina) overacting is so fargone that she'd have to underact for three straight seasons on "Bernie Mac" just to find her way back to Earth. The only escaped convict from this Alcatraz of a movie is Regina Hall as Malcolm's talentless, witless, acrobatic, and very pink mistress Peaches. Fully committing to her surface-to-airhead missile of misunderstanding, a real-life Betty Boop with voice to match, Hall is the best thing about this movie. Now if someone wants to kidnap Peaches and torture her by making her read encyclopedias for ninety minutes, then that would be a movie worth seeing. Otherwise, "nighty-night…" @ REEL (ONE REEL) If you can't sneak in, don't go in. Like what you read? Agree/disagree with The Reel Deal? Think he's talkin' out his...HUSH YO' MOUF! (I'm only talkin' about The Reel Deal!) Email him at ReelReviewz@aol.com! Edwardo Jackson is the author of the novels EVER AFTER and NEVA HAFTA, (Villard/Random House), a writer for UrbanFilmPremiere.com, and an LA-based screenwriter. Visit his website at www.edwardojackson.com Â© 2004, Edwardo Jackson